Re:Zero - Starting back from Zero
by biohazard2550
Summary: Subaru believed that he had reached his absolute limit. He had broken his promise to Emilia, embarrassed her and himself infront of those that attended the start of the Royal selection and now faced with Overwhelming dark forces that seek to destroy everything Subaru has gained. But Subaru is about to meet the one responsible for bringing him here. And she has something to help.
1. Ch1 - Beyond Despair

**I do not own RE:Zero. All rights go to the author Tappei Nagatsuki.**

**This is a Fanfiction inspired by the challange that i accepted from One-Shot King Z.**

'Why... why is this happening?'

Inside a dark cave a young boy was sitting with his back against the cold stone walls. His wrists bound to metal chains that kept him from moving. But he didn't want to move. He was lost inside his own thoughts. Thoughts of a recent memory... a nightmare of death.

"Now this is interesting... what is it that you have brought to me i wonder..."

A voice echoed through the dark stone chamber. The young man didn't recognise it. But his mind was still not fully with him. It drifted on the memories of his past... a past life. One that ended in death... death of those he loved and the death of himself. How was such a thing possible... to die over and over again. To suffer through countless horrible acts. His many lives all ended in his death. And the deaths of many others.

"Hmmm... now tell me this... why are you here? why have you arrived when the ordeal is so close"

A man cloaked in shadow stood over the young man. His gaze with directed on his chained up prisoner. Five seconds of silence past until the cloaked man broke it with a cackle only a mad man could make.

"OH ahahahahahaha... what a very very very very very very VERY! entertaining sight this is"

After his sudden outburst he leaned in closer, bringing one of his hands up to his mouth and... biting down on his finger with a sickening crunching sound that was swiftly followed by blood running down his hand and jaw.

This sight didn't faze the chained young man who just responded with a blank stare, to which the cloaked man suddenly stood up and took a few steps back.

"AH of course where are my manners... i haven't introduced myself yet"

He turned and walked back a few steps before quickly darting back around to face his prisoner and then did a deep bow.

"I am a sin archbishop cardinal representing sloth, Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti"

He got no response which appeared to deeply disturb the mad man that introduced himself. Petelgeuse quickly threw himself towards the chained man, bringing his face level with his prisoners. Grabbing him by his forehead Petelgeuse continued his insanity.

"Ahhhhhh it pains me to be ignored even though i have treated you with such kindness oh my brain trembles"

His rant reached deaf ears. Still no response. Nothing.

Petelgeuse clicked his tongue but then took something out from his robes. He pulled out a black book and quickly started flicking through the pages. It was too quick for anyone to read yet he seemed to be taking in all the information that was writen on each and every page. He stopped and his eyes returned to his prisoner, his eyes narrowed and he snapped his book shut.

"My gosepel... it does not mention you yet yet yet you are blessed with her love"

Petelgeuse inhaled a deep breath before letting out a sigh and then a wide grin scrept across his face.

"But the love that is on you is... tell me... are you perhaps pride..."

**BOOM!**

A loud sound echoed through the cave which brought Petelgeuse's attention off of the chained young man. His eyes narrowed as he stepped towards the middle of the cave. It was then that they appeared. Cloaked man and women begun to appear from the shadows, rising from the ground and kneeling before the sin archbishop.

"Go now... uncover the truth to that sound"

They all nodded and vansished from sight once again. Petelgeuse turned his head back towards his prisoner. His face then twisted into a toothy smile as he raised his hands up to the ceiling.

"MAYBE... i am asking the wrong questions... so i ask you and please answer me... why are you pretending?"

A few more seconds of silence past before another sound echoed through the cave followed by one of the cloaked men from before as he was sent flying across the chamber until body hit the ground.

"I finally found you!"

A new voice entered the cave, one that was familiar to the young man. His eyes slowly shifted towards the other end of the cave where foot steps could now be heard. A faint purple light could be seen illuminating the dark stone hallway as the figure entered the chamber. It was a young women in what appeared to be a maid uniform, with rips and tears littering the elegent uniform. The girl had short sky blue hair that covered her right eye. Here eyes were light blue but at this time were filled with hate. And atop her forehead was a single purple horn.

Her eyes shifted from the deranged man and the cloaked one that had begun to enter through the shadows until her eyes landed on the chained man behind Petelgeuse. Her eyes softened as she spoke.

"Subaru-kun! Rem is here, Rem will save you"

'Rem...' That name... that voice... was it really.

"Ah you are here for him" Petelgeuse spoke as he pulled Subaru's hair, lifting his head up so that it was in clear view.

Rem norrowed her eyes and her face twisted into one of pure hatred. "Don't touch him..." She said quietly but there was no softness in her voice. It was replaced with unrelenting hate.

"Huh... can't hear you could you repeat that" Petelgeuse said as he brought a hand up to his ear.

"DON'T TOUCH SUBARU-KUN!" Rem roared as she brought out a chained ball attached to a long chain and swung it at the nearest body. The result was the force from the attack crushed the nearest cloaked individuals skull killing the person instantly. "You took away my reason for living that night when you took Neesama's horn and now you want to take Rem's reason for dying too you damn cultists!"

Rem continued her attacks, taking down every cultist that tried to get close. She moved with inhumane speed as she cut, smashed and forced her way through every body that got between her and the one she held most dear.

Subaru begun to come back to his senses. His eyes adjusted to the scene as he scanned the chamber for the girl who's name he had remembered. Like a song on repeat the name of the girl played in his mind. He had to find Rem. Meanwhile Petelgeuse only grinned madly at the carnage in front of him as he raised a single hand towards the maid. Subaru and rems eyes finally met and Rem's expression changed to a loving smile, one that Subaru remembered. She looked like she was about to say something.

But

She felt something grab her. It was a strong feeling of something gripping her tightly. Even with all her strength she couldn't break free. Rem was lifted into the air slowly. Her struggles were fruitless as she felt more of her body being grabbed by an invisible force. Her arms, legs, torso and legs. She shifted her eyes towards the one who had remained calm this whole time. The one with a maddening grin on his face.

"Authority of Sloth... the unseen hand" Petelgeuse spoke and with that chant Rems body was twisted and crushed by his invisible power. Her arms where twisted out of their sockets as muscle and flesh tore. Her legs were broken in an instant with sickening cruching sounds. Rem agonising screams only lasted for a few seconds before her head was twisted 180 degrees. It was a horrible sight. And Subaru witnessed all of it. His mind was blank for a moment before it had finally registered what had just happened.

"RRRRREEEEEEEMMMMMM!" Subaru Screamed at the top of his lungs as he propelled himself forward trying to reach the beloved girl whos form was now twisted and mutilated. The chains topped his advance but Subaru then turned his attention to the man responsible, Petelgeuse. "I'll kill you, kill you, kill you, kill you, die die die die die die die die die die!" Subaru screamed as he pulled at the chains to get to the man that had shattered his world. All his dispair and self pity was replaced with hatred for this man.

The sin archbishop of sloth frowned at Subaru's action. He looked into Subaru's hate filled eyes that were streaming tears of pain. He then looked back to the blue haired girl. "This is your fault you know... shes dead... dead because of you... in your actions you brought upon the death of this girl, this girl who was a beleiver of love, who died for that love all because of you... you are truely slothful..." Petelgeuse begun to walk away. He walked past the bodies of his cultist and past the still hanging body of Rem all the while Subaru continued his screams and threats. But Petelgeuse stopped at the mouth of the cave and turned his body once again to face Subaru. "I have created a mess here so i am going to leave now... after all the day of the ordeal is today and we must test the half devil so to you i say farewell" Petelgeuse said in a joyful tone as he clapped his hands together with a smile plastered on his face. He turned and as he did Rem's lifeless body fell to the floor. The madman walked out of the chamber his footsteps fading as he disappeared from sight. The remaining cultists vanished and left Subaru alone.

Time past and Subaru closed his eyes. He had lost Rem, he had lost everyone again. He had failed to protect everyone. He had let her down again. His mind pichured a certain girl with silver hair and amaethyst eyes. Emilia. The girl who had saved him from the thugs, the girl who claimed his heart, The one he had let down the most. Their argument at the capital, her face when he lost the greatest of knights the words she spoke to him before leaving him.

And it was not just Emilia he had let down. But Ram. The pink haired maid and older sister of Rem. He couldn't protect her sister and now she too was going to die again at the hands of those damn cultists. He remembered the time they spent together. The harsh words she would always use to descibe him. The fun times they spent doing chores together.

Beatrice too. The drill haired loli librarian who would always throw him out of the library everytime he would enter. And of course he couldn'y forget Puck. The contracted spirit of Emilia. He shared some good times with the little cat. He taught him how to use magic even if it was only one spell.

He then thought about everyone at the village. The citizens of Irlam village would be the first to suffer. He remembered the kids that would always come to climb on him. Mild, Meina, Cain, Dine, Lucus and Petra. Those kids also had a place in his heart.

'Why did i have to be so useless... why did all this have to happen... i really am a hopeless idiot'

Subaru just wanted it all to end, he just wanted to die. And this time stay dead. When he was first summoned to this world he died on the first day by the blade of the bowel hunter. He was disemboweled by that women. It should have been the end of it but... it wasn't he had returned. And then he died again by the same women and then again by those thugs. It was only then that he realised that he had a power. Return by Death. The ability that would allow him to try again every time he died. Such a dark power. He now hated it.

"Suuub...ar...u" a weak voice broke his trail of thought and he opened his eyes. He looked around the dark cave but found no one there. Then he heard shuffling. He looked ahead and found the source. It was Rem. She was still alive and trying to reach him. "REM!" Subaru shouted her name as he pulled himself towards her. Rem was dragging herself using her twisted limbs to pull herself towards him. "rem rem rem" Subaru could not reach her with his bound arms but when she was close enough he bite down on her collar and pulled her into him. He held her as he looked at her broken form. "Rem are you..."

"Al..." Rems voice was raspy and weak but was enough for subaru to hear her. He held her tight and waited for her to finish what she was trying to say. "Al...huma" and with that the chains that bound subaru to this plave shattered. Subaru looked at his wrists before he turned back to Rem. "Rem you..." he tried to speak but was cut off by Rem. "Live..."

"Wha..." was all subaru could mutter as he parted the blue hair that covered her face revealing those loving eyes starring up at him. He felt so useless. All he could do was comfort her as best as he can and listen to her. He had to hear her last words.

"Li...live... Subaru...kun... i Love...you" with that Rem shut her eyes. Her chest raised and fell for the last time and the girl left Subaru alone. He held her body tightly and cried for the maid that stood by him, risked her life for him and lost it in the process but most of all she loved him...

"My fault..." Subaru's voice echoed through the caves, his sobbing exploded into pure rage directed at himself. "My fault... its my fault! Rem im... im sorry... oh god Rem I..." Subaru screamed and yelled his frustration and pain into the empty chamber as he cradled the dear girl in his arms. Tears flowed down his cheeks like rivers of running water as all his emotion exploded. All the pain, his suffering, the suffering of those he loved and his failures.

After a while of self loothing Subaru managed to gain back his strength and lift himself off of the ground and onto his feet. He walked to the mouth of the Cave still holding the deceased Rem in his arms bridal style. He looked out the the forest and sky above. The sun was setting but the sky was stained with black smoke that rose up from the direction of where the village and Roswaals mansion was.

Subaru looked down at Rem as he gave her a weak smile. "Lets go Rem" And with that he headed out into the woods. The journey their was every bit as painful. Not just physically as his body was only just managing to support his own weight and Rems but the phycological horrors that awaited him. But he had to go there. There was no where else left to go. He had to see if anyone survived. He owed them that much. And at least give them a proper burial. He passed by some dead Maebeasts. The creatures were torn to pieces, their bodies just dumped onto the forest floor. But he just walked right past them. He didn't even register that they were there. All his mind was focusing on was one word... one name.

'Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse...'

The name of the one responsible. That man. No that monster did this. Him... all him it was his fault.

'Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... The sin archbishop of sloth. Of the Witches cult. Wait... the Witch. The jeaslous witch... Satella'

Subaru walked into the village. The once lively and happy village now recked of death, stained in blood with the residents all burned or left to rot. Some had daggers stabbed into their bodies, while others had burn marks with some completely charred black while others were just like the beasts... torn apart.

'Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... '

Like his previous loop. The death, the sickening sight and stench... it was all done by that madman. This act... this display... it was evil... just pure evil, unrestrained evil.

"Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... Petelgeuse... "

Subaru approached the Mansion, the huge structure that had once been his home where had worked was within sight. But strangly it had started to snow. Subaru didn't notice it at first. But as he got closer the blizard only entensified. It was cold. But he had to press on. He had to get to the mansion. But he prepared himself for the worst.

He passed the gates. There were two cultists dead with one leaning against the gate, the other was cut in half. The front garden, once a beautiful sight to behold was now a battlefield. Dead cultists littered the grass and gravel path. Subaru then spotted a familar pink haired girl. Her back against the storage shed. She was dead and around her layed a dozen cultists. She had died in the defence but was clearly overwhelmed.

Subaru lost his composure. He sank back to his knees as tears flowed from his eyes once more. "Petelgeuse!" Subaru screamed. The storm continued to worsen and then it happened. A loud crashing sound with the tower and about a third of Roswaals manor came apart as a large creature emerged from the structure. It towered above everything in the facinity. Subaru turned his head to face the creature.

It had its head turned away from where Subaru was Kneeling. It was large, covered in a thick fur and appeared cat like. It then turned its head towards Subaru revealing a pair of yellow eyes that starred right back at him. Subaru felt his blood begin to freeze.

"Subaru... why" A voice called out. It was familiar but still quite complexing. It was like a deep growl but Subaru was sure he recognised the voice. Someone who was close to Emilia. The cat spirit that had sereved as her contract spirit.

"Puck?" Subaru weakly muttered but the giant's ears twiched and then it stepped forward. Another large chunk of the mansion came crashing down as the beast freed itself from the structure as it approached the boy. Its footsteps where like loud drums as it approached. The storm seemed to be even worse around the giant Puck. Was he the one doing this.

"Subaru... why did you come back?" It was defiently Puck. Subaru knew now that this giant beast was indeed the same cute fluffy cat. It lowered its head down towards him as its cold breath hit Subaru. He was sure that his body was freezing but he didn't care now. After all that happened he wanted to die.

"I... i wanted to make everything right... i" Subaru didn't have the words to reply properly. The cold and his current state of mind was eating away at him.

"Subaru... you are quilty of three sins, first you broke your promise to lia and then you returned to this place. You have no idea how important that promise was to her. Your final sin was you failed to protect her despite claiming to be her knight so tell me Subaru how do you plan to make this right?"

Subaru was lost for words. How could he make this right. The archbishop was too powerful. He was weak... all he could do was die and then start anew. Knowledge was power but how could he come back from this with anything at all. Subaru didn't know what to do anymore and only hung his head in defeat.

"I expected more from you Subaru, despite your stench that looms over you i had high hopes for you but... its too late now..." Pucks voice was empty. There was no hate, no sorrow nothing. Subaru felt his gaze still on him but didn't look back up at him. Not that he could anymore. Most of his body was frozen. He was going to die again. Frozen solid. He felt nothing now. But he could still hear the wind, the sound of his flesh freezing, his heart beat which was soon going to stop. He had given up and soon his body would to.

"Sleep along with my daughter Subaru. But next time... please save Lia"

'Wait what!' was the last thing that subaru thought as everything went black. And Subaru's body crumpled away, shattered into pieces. Both Subaru and Rem and soon everyone else would be lost to the snow as the great Spirit was left alone in the icy apocolypes. Puck looked down at the ground one more time. Before he raised his head up. His felt another presence nearby. In the distance he could make out the figure of someone walking towards him. As he approached he could make out the red hair and blue eyes of the person that walked towards the giant spirit with a blank expression. "I knew you would come, sword saint".

Subaru awoke in a dark void. An endless Void. He picked himself up off the ground and begun to feel his body. He had returned once again. This would have been the 9th time return by death had brought him back. But this time was different. Where was he. Was this... the end for him. Was he dead for good. No wait he was alive. He had checked. His heart was beating and he was taking in air. At least thats what he assumed spirits didn't do in the afterlife.

"Hello" Subaru called out with a weak voice into the endless black mist that surrounded him. His voice seemed to echo forever. He let out a sigh after a few seconds of silence. Was he indeed trapped here. Was he all alone...

"Subaru" A new voice cut through the void and reach Subaru's ears. He darted his Gaze left and right trying to find the owner of the voice. It sounded Familiar. Like a silver chime that had many timnes warmed his heart. It had to be her.

"Emilia?... Emilia is that you?" Subaru called out. His gaze still shifting into different directions as he searched for the girl. His eyes caught sight of something in the distance. It was mostly covered by the black mist but it looked different. More humanoid. Subaru begun to walk towards it. "Emilia!" he called out to the fugure. But as he got close something stopped him dead in his tracks. It was something within him. Something was screaming at him to run deep inside his subconcious. Run as fast as he could away from what was now undoutably standing a few feet infront of him. He couldn't move anymore. He was scared, more scared that ever before. This was primal fear. But his body would not move. He only starred at the figure as it begun to step towards him. It raised its arm towards him, from the shadows a pale hand reached out to him. Snow white skin... 'but Emilia had snow white skin and...'

Then it clicked. He just remembered why Emilia was hated. Why such a kind and sweet girl was loothed by everyone. Her resemblence to the witch of envy. It wasn't emilia standing before him now but the one responcible for bring him to this world. The one who gave him return by death. The one who would grab his heart whenever he tried to speak of it.

"Satella" is all subaru could say as he starred at the figure as her face came into view. That is what he assumed to be her face that was covered in shadows. But he could tell those eyes behind the mist was starring right back at him. There stood infront of him was the witch of envy.

"I love you"

**Wow. Finlly done with this first chapter. What will happen next? Well all will be revealed in the next few chapters. **

**Please leave your feedback and comments. **


	2. Ch2 - A fated meeting

**I do not own RE:Zero. All rights go to the author Tappei Nagatsuki.**

**This is a Fanfiction inspired by the challange that i accepted from One-Shot King Z.**

"I love you"

...

...

...

"Why..." was all subaru could mutter as he stared at the girl before him. Cloaked in shadow that left her appearance up to the imagination all but her figure. The girl that was feared by all. The cause of the greatest calamity and greatest loose of life by a single person. The witch of envy, Satella.

...

Subaru wanted to move, he wanted to run. Run away from her and this place. But there was another emotion present. One that threatened to force its way to the surface at any moment now. Hate. He hated her. Why... because she was the reason. The witches cult worshiped her. They came to Roswaals domain because of her. Because of Emilia's resemblence to her. She was the reason why that madman came, why he killed and the reason to why he breathed.

'Her fault... its all her fault... she did this... all of it and now... now what' He hated her. He knew now that this was all thanks to her. But why... why would she do all this and why now did she come to him. Bring him to this place. "Why"

"Because i love you"

"No" He didn't understand. What was she saying. She did this because... no it couldn't be the reason.

"I love you Subaru... i will always care and love you"

Her confession hit subaru hard. She did all this for love. Her love for him. What was this, some sick joke. His many grusome deaths that should have been the end of him. The maebeasts that grew more aggressive with her scent that covered him, the witches cult that murders in her name and so much more. This person was the devil of this world and yet she was proclaiming her love... her love for him.

"Subaru please listen i need to..."

"Shut up" he cut her off. His voice was cold and bitter. His anger finally beginning to reach the surface. No more was the fear and regret. It was now being drowned in his rage that seemed to keep growing with every second that he was in her presence.

"Subaru i want you to know"

"I said shut up" He cut her off again. This time he was louder. Her words mean't nothing to him. He hated her.

"Subar"

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

...

"You you say all these things but it doesn't change anything... you... do you know what i went through... how much i suffered... how little i achieved... what i lost... what little i gained... well do you" he spat. Hated her. He hated her, her cult her very being he hated all of it.

"I... i know thats why"

"Oh so you been watching hah... hell of course you were. I knew it was you... you damn witch. Was it you who bought me to this world, gave me return by death and would squeeze my heart when i tried to explain it to others. Do you know how that feels... everyone looking at you like you've lost it, not trusting you... hating you"

"Subaru... tha"

"Did you enjoy watching me suffer, fail, die... did you enjoy my deaths as my attempts at life amounted to little. I was stabbed, disemboweled, crushed, frozen and cursed to die over and over again" he clenched his fists. He wanted to just attack her. To strike her and take out all his hate right now. But even he in his state right now could tell. She was on a completely different level. Her power. It was completely overwhelming. Even Reinhart the sword saint himself didn't seem to even be close to her. This feeling was what kept him in place. Fear and nothing else.

...

...

...

"WELL! DID YOU... DID YOU ENJOY IT... TELL ME!"

"No"

...

...

"What" subaru was shocked by her answer. Was she playing innocent or just telling him what he wanted to hear. Hell he didn't want to hear her at all right now. "Don't... don't give me that... now after everythi"

"No i didn't enjoy it... it hurt me... it hurt me so much to see you like that. Thats why i needed to talk to you" There was no delight in her voice, nothing but sorrow and pity. This didn't make any sense to Subaru. She was the witch of envy who killed half the population and devoured half the world before she was sealed away 400 years ago. Why would such a monster be capable of such emotions.

...

"Im sorry" Those words felt like a dagger through his chest.

"Your sorry... don't give me that... sorry your not sorry your... your"

"Im sorry Subaru... i did this to you because i love you... because i missed you and i shouldn't of done what i did but i took you... and brought you to my world" Satella's voice was weak as regret and saddness drove those words out. There was no malice nor spite. No this was indeed the truth from the bottom of her heart.

Subaru however was confused. He clicked his tongue in frustration, non of this was making sense. "You missed me... i don't think we ever meet before so i think you got the wro" He was cut off as a hand grabbed him by the wrist. She was touching him. The hand that he could not see due to the shadows had wrapped itself around his wrist.

...

Silence fell between them once again. Subaru just wanted her. Waited, dreading what would happen next. Would she try to swallow him up in her shadows as the stories said she did 400 years ago. Would she put a curse on him, driving him into a pit of insanity leaving him like other cultists...

"Sorry... i waited so long to see you again... its been so long since i got to touch someone... i had to know what it felt like" He didn't quite understant it. Hell he didn't understand anything that was going on at this point.

...

"I can understand how you must feel right now. But i can't bear to watch you go through with all that pain anymore" She continued as he felt her cold hands carress the skin on his wrist. While her fingers where not visble he could feel them. They were cold, cold as ice but soft and slender.

"I don't care!" Subaru spat out those words which were laced in venom. "I don't care what you have to say you... you... you think i don't know what you did... what you caused... what your still causing!"

"I..." Satella didn't really know how to answer that. It was a sensitive subject. One that was indeed at the top of her list of regrets. But after a few seconds she collected her words and continued her repsonce. "I know what i have done. I deserve to be trapped here. But not you... you don't deserve to suffer like this so i will offer you a choice".

"A choice... what choice?" Subaru asked. What could she be planning now.

"Yes i will let you choose what you want to do next. I could send you home. Back to your world. But i cannot promise we won't see each other again". Satella could feel a powerful force within her screaming as she said this. Something inside her didn't agree with that offer.

"You could send me home?" Subaru paused after he said that. Would she really send him back. Back to his peaceful life.

"Yes but i have to tell you that if that is indeed what you want then you would be abadoning those who you care about in this world" She responded as the grip on his wrist tightened.

Shit...

He hadn't thought of that. He would be abadoning them. All his friends. Leaving them to this horrible fate. He couldn't just live with himself if he did that. But he didn't want to die over and over again. He had lost too many times now.

As if reading his thoughts satella spoke once more "Or i could activate your authority and send you back. But... this time things will be different. I will help you"

"Help me... how?" Right now what he said and what he thought was completely mixed up. He wanted to save his friends and get that happy ending but he didn't trust this women. Hell his instincts were right name screaming at him and calling him a idiot for even being this close to her.

"I will give you the other half of the authority as well as some other things to help you along your journey" she paused and studied his reaction which was just a confused stare.

'Right he dosen't know about the witch genes yet'

"What you ahve right now is half of my authority, the authori_ty of _envy. It is a special ability that grants its user an incredible power but it has certain requirements. Thankfully you are compatable with the witchgenes which is one of those requirments. What you call return by death is actually my rewind ability. The first half of my authoirty. I shall grant you the second half. What some have come to call my envious shadows. Its similar to your Yin magic but it allows me to directly produce and manipulate shadows" She paused allowing him to take in the knowledge. "You see you are capable of using my authority and as such i don't see any reason not to give it to you. I wanted to wait till you were ready but i think you should be able to manage it".

Subaru was in deep thought. This sounded like a useful power to have. But she said that it was an authroity. The authority of Envy. She's the witch of Envy and Petelgeuse said he was the archbishop of sloth. He used the authority of sloth on Rem. So she would be giving him a similar ability to what that madman posessed. "Wait so your telling me that there are oth"

"Yes there are" Satella cut him off seeing where he was going with his question. "There are nine authorities in total. And each one has two abilities that it grants the user, each one represents a sin being the 7 well known sins. Wrath, Pride, Sloth, Gluttony, Lust, Greed and mine which is Envy. There are also two others... melancholy and ... Vainglory" She spat out the last one. It was clear to Subaru that that was a sensitive subject and hell he wasn't about to anger a witch that destroyed half the world.

"Unfortunately most of these authorities have fallen into the hands of some rather nasty people. The only one i managed to keep was my own. You already met Petelgeuse who is one of the sin archbishopes. He represents sloth and as such posesses the sloth genes and its authority. I only know a little about its power but the name the unseen hand fits the description"

Subaru was again processing all the information. 'So that means aside from sloth and envy there are 7 more people out there with powerful abilities. Wait... did she say NASTY... understatement of the year'. He was broken from his thoughts as Satella continued.

"On top of the authority i shall grant you a few more gifts. One of which will be my blessing. I cannot say it will work for sure but it should make your body more workable. It shall also allow you to grow stronger much easier than your would normally. On top of that it will help you survive when your are in a pinch" She stopped and allowed subaru to take in the info. As she looked into his eyes she was beginning to notice the fire return to his eyes. It warmed her heart a little seeing her efforts where showing some fruit. She then looked down to her hand and noticed she had not let go of him yet. 'Well a little longer couldn't hurt'.

"Your body will adapt to the world around you, slowly becoming stronger and more durable. But i still cannot say it won't be easy, i won't lie to you about that. But this should help you at the very least" She finished satisfyed with her explanation. She now waited to here what Subaru had to say about this.

Subaru was still unsure. Why would she help him like this. Why him of all people. He needed answers but could he trust her to give him the truth. He had to be careful but he was not going to get anywhere with staying quiet like this. "Okay lets just say i agree to this. You give me the authority and your blessing and then what happens next?"

"Well i won't send you back to your previous save point which is what i beleive you think of it as... i will instead send you back a week before i summoned you here. You would lose as you are now so i think its best we do a full reset and allow your body to adjust to the new changes that i will make" Satella allowed this to set in before continuing. "I think you need time to adjust to your new abilities and allow the authority to settle inside your body. Otherwise you won't be a match against sloth."

Subaru hated to admit it but she had a point. This wasn't a game where you would just learn a new skill or buff your states no this was real life. Where you bleed and die only instead of you watching your avatar you get to experiance it all yourself. This feeling was all to familiar.

There was a good two minute of silence between the two of them until Satella finally broke the silence. "So what would you like to do... i will respect your decission regardless of what"

"I'll do it" Subaru this time was the one that cut her off. Satella looked up at his face and saw a reinewed face. Gone where the tears and fear that once covered his face but now she was looking at a young man who's resolve and faith in himself was unravering. This face, this determination brought back happy memories as Satella stared into his eyes which stared right back into hers.

"Are... are you sure? i mean it won't be easy and the obstacles you will face will be dang"

"I said i will do it... i will accept your help and overcome all the obsticles in my way. I am Natsuki Subaru and i will protect my friends" Subaru said with conviction. Thats right he will save them all. All the villagers, all the residents at the manor. He will do it all and let them live their lives peacefully. After all he promised her the first time they meet.

'I promise i will save you'

"Emilia" he muttered under his breath. But not just her. Yes indeed the beautiful half elf stole his heart from the day they met but there was another.

'Subaru-kun'

"Rem" thats right it was Rem who came for him. Faced the archbishop and gave her life for him. He would be damned if he let that bastead hurt anyone again.

Despite the fact that Subaru couldn't see her face he could tell that she nodded to his responce. Her other hand begun to rise up to meet his face. He felt her hand touch his cheek. "Then i shall grant you my blessing Natsuki Subaru". Upon those words a bright light was emitted from where her hand touched him. He felt something change within him but it wasn't unpleasant. "and now for my authority" Her hand left his cheek and the light slowly faded. Subaru watched as Satella bought her arm close to her chest. It stayed there for a few seconds before she moved the same arm close to his chest. He felt her open hand press against his torso. Once again he felt something happen. Something was being drawn to him. It was powerful and more aggressive that the last.

"Hah!"

Subaru's world begun to spin as he quickly fell onto his back. His body felt like it was on fire. His legs felt like jelly and his breathing was agony. He could feel something stirring from within him, Like a snake coiling around its prey he felt its crushing him from within. Did she trick him... why... what purpose those this serve. His eyes drifted to his left where his eyes met his hand. Only it was being held by a shadow. No wait. The shadows were fading. He watched with difficulty as the shaodws parted revealing a hand holding onto his own. Snow white skin was what he saw and at her wrist was a black fabric. His eyes followed her arm as the shadows parted revealing her form to him. No longer was a shadow standing before him but instead there was a girl in a black dress on her knees. Long silver hair hung down and touched the invisible floor. pointed ears stuck out from her hair. Violet eyes stared back at him. Those eyes were still watery and subaru could see the trails on her cheeks where tears had escaped her eyes. Despite all this he could see she was smiling. Infact now that he got a good look at her it dawned on him. She looks exactly like Emilia be it maybe a little bit older. She let go of his hand but there was a sensation left in the palm of his hand. His eyes drifted back to his hand where he caught sight of his phone. He looked back to Satella who had never taken her eyes off of him.

"Its time for you to go now. But we shall see you again soon okay" With that sentance Subaru faded into black. Leaving the witch alone. A part of her was saddened by the loose of her most beloved person but she knew deep down that it wasn't goodbye.

"He hasn't changed at all" She said outloud. Holding the hand that had previously held his.

**"no he hasn't but next time you are going to let me speak to him right"** another voice echoed through her mind. Unlike her own this voice was one that she had so desperatly tried to hold back while Subaru was here. Afterall she didn't want him to meet her other side.

"Maybe... depends if you promise to behave" Satella spoke with a hint of aggitation in her voice,

**"Heh you know he is the only one i wouldn't hurt right"**

"We shall see... now all we can do is wait and see what happens next" Satella sat down and closed her eyes as she begun to watch as a new story begun to unfold.

**What will happen next**

**Yes thats right we are starting again from Zero. Or in this case before Zero.**

**Subaru has been given satella's blessing as well as the full authority of envy. Meaning his has return by death and Envious shadows. Next chapter we shall explore further what this gifts are. Until then lets hear your thoughts on this chapter. Feedback is important so please leave yours and why not follow the story if your enjoying it so far.**

**Till the next chapter.**


	3. Ch3 - Starting Point

**I do not own RE:Zero. All rights go to the author Tappei Nagatsuki.**

**This is a Fanfiction inspired by the challange that i accepted from One-Shot King Z.**

"Hah"

Subaru was back. He had returned like he had done many times before. But this time felt different. Or at least similar to how he had when he was first bought to Lugunica by the witch satella. The very same witch that subaru had conversed with. His mind still wondered back to their conversation. All the information she told him. She wasn't what he fought she would be. No doubt that at first he was scared... well that and angry. But as she spoke to him he begun to get use to her presence. 'Maybe it was all just a facade' Subaru thought for sure that she would have tried something but instead she offered him help. 'Wait her blessing!' Subaru internally screamed as he begun to feel up and down his body, trying to find something he didn't have on him before. He looked over himself and like always he was in his trademark oranage and grey tracksuit. After checking his pockets all he found was his flip-phone.

He sighed as he begun to study his surroundings. From left to right her could see nothing but flatlands, large patches of grass and a couple of dirt trails where the most noteable things he could make out. That was until he turned around only to find the largest tree he had ever seen towering above him... no that was an understatement. This tree was a titan of its kind. Truely he was taken back by its sheer size so much so that as he leaned back trying to see the top he lost his balance and fell straight onto his back and letting out a loud grunt as he struck the dirt floor.

Subaru sat up, collecting his barings and then suddenly shouted to the heavens

"WHERE THE HELL AM I!"

...

**"God damn it are you always this loud?"**

Subaru's blood frooze as he heard the strange voice that he didn't recognise. He wasn't too sure but it sounded like young boy. He looked around him expecting to find a boy or someone who the voice belonged to. But found nothing but himself and the large tree. He looked at the tree with wide eyes. 'Could it be that you spoke to'

**"no you idiot, the tree didn't speak to you... i did"**

Subaru blinked once, twice and then looked above him. But once again found nothing. He turned around back towards the vast flatlands that layed before him. No living creature was in sight. Subaru swallowed his spit, he wasn't sure what was going on. Was he loosing his mind. Maybe that was the case. He had been through hell and back again. Over and over again. 'Ah hell with it' he thought. So he decided to play along.

"Hello" Subaru said weakly "Is there anyone there, i heard a voice"

**"Yes you did at least your ears are working fine"**

"What"

...

**"I said yes you did at least your ears work..."**

"Okay now i know i must be going crazy, everything thats happened... its all finally taking its toll... thats why i am hearing voices"

**"Well i wouldn't say your completely sane but your not quite there to being insane just yet"**

"Okay fine! Where there hell are you then?" Subaru roared.

**"Down here"**

Subaru looked down and saw his phone on the ground. He hesitated at first but picked it up, flipping it open. The screen came on and the first thing he noticed was that his Battery was back up to 100%. The second thing was that his phone seemed lighter. And the third was...

**"Took you long enough to figure it out"**

It was tallking to him. His phone was talking to him. Subaru blinked once, twice and then dropped his phone onto the dirt below.

**"HEY! DON'T DROP ME YOU DAMN FOOL, APOLIGISE AND PICK ME UP RIGHT THIS MINUTE!"**

"Well im sorry but this is a little too much for me right now okay, just what the hell are you, who are you and what are you doing in my phone" Subaru screamed at his phone. Honestly this was too much for himn right now. He knew phones were sometimes suppose to have voices coming through them but he hadn't had a single bar since coming to this world so this wasn't him receiving a call. What ever this was he needed answers.

**"HAHAHAHAHAHA... seriously i cannot understand why she choose you of all people but whatever and to answer your questions i am known as Lux. I guess you could call me a spirit of sorts that was previously under contract from Satella but now you have inherited that contract so guess your stuck with me. And yes i am currently taking up residence in this metia like device... wait what did you call it a fone?"**

The voice in his phone now identifying itself as Lux waited for Subaru to answer its question about the phone it took up residence in. Subaru just stared back at his hand held device before he reached down and picked it back up. "Yes but its prounannounced phone not fone. So wait you were contracted to Satella before me?"

**"Yes i was and don't speak that name out loud so casually. In this day and age it is considered a serious taboo"** Lux scolded Subaru which honestly was quite a bizzare thing, being scolded by your own phone.

"Right i remember doing that once and a lot of people seemed horrified and... i hurt someone" He remembered Emilia's face when he called out that name. Honestly he wasn't sure why she would lie about that to him but he came to the conclusion that she probably didn't trust him.

**"Yeah she was trying to scare you off, but you are dence and stubborn... but then again you are an alien to this world so your ignorance is forgiven, although i am going to have to bring you up to speed and teach you some god damn common sense"**

Subaru frowned at Lux's choice of words and quickly fired back "What the hell is that suppose to mean, i have been trying my absolute best with the tools i had you know and i have to admi"

**"You are aware that i know everything about you right, as part of our new contract which you get no say in by the way i get access to all your memories and even your thoughts. We are connected Natsuki Subaru and while i will admit you did make the most out of the tools at your disposal you did so in a reckless and somewhat stupid manor. Hell i would say that you caused problems just about as well as you did fixing them. Return by Death is a powerful ability, a game changer with unlimited potentual which gives even someone as weak as you a chance against any opponent but most of your deaths so far could have been avoided"**

Subaru was beginning to get annoyed with Lux. What the hell did it know about his struggles. "You think you know shi"

**"Oh i do and trust me his will be quite the eye opener for you. Im stuck with you now so like it or not you are going to have to listen to what i have to say okay" **Lux cut subaru off and subaru just stood there staring at his phone before swallowing hard and nodding.

**"Great now then where to begin... oh i know how about your most recent blunder, your fight with Julius" **Subaru grit his teeth at the mention of that name. Memories of that man flooded into his mind. How Subaru thought and was badly beaten by the so called knight. **"It was your fault you know! I would say that Julius acted completely within his right as a Lugunican knight, and if anything you got off easy and before you start defending your actions lets look over the facts shall we... first you proclaimed yourself as Emilia's knight which was not only a lie as you haven't earned the title or have the training or skills needed to be called a knight but it can also be seen as a direct insult to call yourself one of them. Second your attitude towards the whole title of knight reflects heavily on you and is probably the biggest nail that drove Julius to do what he did. Your were also rude to the most powerful and influencial people of Lugunica and im not talking about the knights here but the noble men, mages and even the members of the sage council. All these actions reflect heavily on not only you but Emilia who is as it stands a candidate to the throne. And respectfully the candidate that has the weakest claim due to her heritage. You have to understand tha your actions reflect on her and although you claim to be trying to help her you are infact only making her whole role harder as she has to babysit you while facing down the cruel world that stands before her" **Lux let all of this sink in and waited for Subaru to reflect on his actions but the boy was stubborn.

"Okay i admit i lied but i did it for her. I want to help Emilia to reach the throne and achieve her dreams... i want to"

**"You want to be Emilia's knight in shinning armor and protect her from the world right, you want her to rely on you and be thankful to you for all that you have done for her" **Lux cut subaru off and after which Subaru just nodded to which Lux did continued.

**"Well if that is your attitude then in my opinion Emilia is better off without this Subaru that i am talking to right now. You need to remember something little alien and that is a simple truth. You are not in your world anymore, things work differently here and with the way you acted at the royal selection i would suggest you stay away from Emilia because all you will do is imbaress her and cause both her and yourself more trouble" **Lux dropped the bombshell but Subaru couldn't really say that it was wrong. Finally looking back at his past actions, his fight with Julius, Emilia abadoning him in the capital with Crusch's camp it was all his fault. Hell he wasn't even suppose to be at the royal selection. He had broken his promise to Emilia and went without her concent. Was he really just a burden.

"Your... your right, i... i didn't really realise that my actions were only causing her more problems, and Rem she must of been so disappointed with me" Subaru fell to his knees. His mind was flooded with guilt. Flashes of Emilia's pained look as she left him, he was the cause of that. He hurt her even though he promised to protect her. He was such a fool.

**"Of course im right. And the maid probably was but you know what she still followed you regardless. I guess she saw something in you cause if it was me and i had a body i would have walked away and cut my losses there and then. Subaru i am going to be honest with you the half elf has a hard life ahead of her. She has very few allies and has next to no chance of surviving the first few months. You have already seen what the witch cult is capable of and that was just a single archbishop. There are others Subaru and each more dangerous than the last, not to mention the three great demon beasts and a ton of other obsticles that i don't even want to list out loud. Subaru you have a choice to make right now. You can go back to that hell or you can walk away. Start a new life, what do ya say?"**

Subaru ponded on Lux's words for a minute. Satella had all ready asked him this question so why was Lux doing the same thing now. And why was it asking him to start a new life. How could he leave them all to die such a horrible death no. He was going to save everyone and this time he was going to be different. He was going to be better. "No im not running away. I keep my promises" Subaru stood up again and wipped his eyes with his track suit sleeve before taking his first step forward.

**"You really are stubborn ya know that... i can see why she choose you ha fine... okay we have 1 week before Emilia will make her trip to the capitol get her insignia stolen and we have to be there to stop her from getting cut open to death. So i have one week to train you into something at least slightly respectable but luckily you have the complete authority of envy and a few other little goodies thanks to our friend so Subaru are you ready?"**

Subaru nodded as he stared down at his phone. "Yes we don't have much time but heck i have worked with less. But before we begin the trainning i need you to tell me something first"

**"Okay what is it?"**

Subaru paused for a sec before speaking "Tell me everything you know about the witches cult and its archbishops" Subaru said with venom dripping off his words, he had to know his enemy. The enemy that he promised he was going to crush. Starting with sloth and then the other sins would follow.

**"Already set on revenge. Ah to hell with it fine now where to begin"**


	4. Not a chapter

Sorry guys I know you wanted more from me but right now I have reached a wall I have yet to get around. Writers block is a pain.

Im going to need some help. My original plan was to have Subaru sent back 1 week before his fated meeting with Emilia and actually introduce Otto a bit earlier than usual. But sadly I have struggled to properly decide how I was going to write out the story and structure it beyond chapter three.

Im going to ask you guys for your input. How would you like me to progress this story?

Would you either like...

A) Subaru saves Otto and the two begin to work with each other as Otto's Carriage guard. This will take Subaru to some interesting places and actually meet some interesting characters with some new and returning faces. Subaru will also gain the opportunity to learn about his new skills.

B) Subaru returns to Lugunica's capital and becomes a mercenary/adventurer earning him a bit of a reputation in such a short time and attracting powerful people eager to gain the boy's favour. This option was also planned to have an encounter with another sin archbishop (one of my favourites too)

C) Subaru returns to Lugunica and befriends Felt changing the whole first ARC as Subaru convinces her to not take the job and reveal her candidacy earlier than expected. This option makes Subaru more involved with the Royal Knights and some tension as well as bonding between him and everyone's favourite spirit knight.

All three of these options are available as I already have the drafts for the first chapter of each of these all ready written out. Leave your choices in the reviews section or via a PM. Just choose your option A, B or C and leave any feedback, suggestions or critique as I appreciate it all.

Again sorry about me delay in getting more chapters out. But with this I hope to figure out where I am taking this. Since I cannot decide myself I am leaving it to the majority vote.


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